If my love life was a music review, I’d be rated an F for failure.
“Hi, my name is Stacey and my mom has got it going on.” This is the way I introduced myself on the first day of school to my sociology class.
Any pun I drop in reference to the decade-old hit never stops getting some laughs. “Stacy’s Mom” by Fountains of Wayne has made life interesting, to say the least, especially when it comes to dating.
When the song first came out, I’d get in fights with kids who would sing it to me. In most cases, I would end up running away with tears in my eyes. It’s funny to think a song could bother me that much.
Now, years later, I find the song humorous. On occasion, I’ll find myself laughing at the silly lyrics or those “better to be forgotten” scenes in the music video.
Now, this is where I have a problem with the song. Depending on the type of guy I meet, it is a strong possibility he will ask me: “Stacey, does your mom have it going on? Would you mind if I came over later, after school?” This is a complete joke.
Despite turning 18 a few months ago, I’ve never had a boyfriend. Until four weeks ago, I’ve never been to a party, or held a guy’s hand for more than two seconds. Baby steps, right?
Excluding close guy friends, I’ve never really had a full-blown conversation with a guy face to face. It’s excruciating to look into a guy’s eyes, because in my mind, there is no reason a guy could like me. Maybe if I were to lose 15 pounds, be bubbly, like country music and football, maybe I could have a boyfriend by now.
I am a wallflower, but even Charlie and Sam have more game than me. There aren’t many perks to being part introvert and part extrovert.